Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect marriage

 Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect Marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds, hers is in California mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere... but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time " she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go she shops.

6.  My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake".

7. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days and then the mud fell off.

8. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

9. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 

10. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

11. I haven't spoken to my wife in eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt her.

12. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust."

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it; this is the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word. Just clean and simple fun!

Happy listening my friends,