"Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land!" I'm not sure. These seem to be such cynical, skeptical times, so alien to honest sentiment. So impatient with the traditional values. But perhaps it's all a pose. Perhaps underneath, as the songwriter said, "Every heart beats true, under red which and blue." Our mission today is to examine the heart of a most unlikely patriot - Sprinkles Magoon. And his story should be told by a man who is both best friend and worst enemy...